marquis
02-01-2009, 04:31 AM
Sometimes its all too serious on here don't you think? Lots of deep and meaningful discussions on submission and dominance and yet so little humour. You'd think we all performed our BDSM without laughing. Oh you do? Oh. That's me drummed out of the club then…. Mind you I have been in trouble in the past for unnecessary and uncontrollable nervous laughter at the wrong point. But then that's part of the fun too sometimes, surely?
I've been taking to an old friend of late, reminded of when I first came into the BDSM scene going on for five years ago now. I joined a community back then and to some extent it was far more serious and formal than my appreciation of BDSM “etiquette” now. I look back on it and squirm a bit with horror on some of my behaviour. My generic deferral to anyone naming themselves dominant, my awe of the scene and my fear of “serious” lifestylers.
This particular old friend and I used to cause trouble by swearing on the community chat room and having pretend rows with each other. I was frequently reported to Colbeh for punishment. Haha how ludicrous it seems now and yet we did have huge fun too.
In time you come to learn that actually, people are people. Due respect and friendship where it's earned. Dom, sub, switch, female, male, transgender whatever your fetish, sexual choice or persuasion, it makes no matter. We are all equal.
I thought about it a lot last night after being approached by someone from Gor, or so he said. A MASTER of course. Now Gor was a massive fantasy of mine, but hello, when I was about 14. I am now 43. I recognise it for what it is, a set of fantasy books written by a guy who himself isn't even into BDSM, that used to be good to wank to. Why as a developed adult would you want to follow someone else's fantasy world as if it was real?
Then I thought we do follow our own fantasies, we get our thrills as subs from feeling controlled, constrained. As masochists from taking beatings more than we would chose for ourselves. I love hands in my hair, unreasonable demands, strictness, harshness, high expectations, mental and physical demands, bending to someone else's will. It's yummy scrummy. Highly erotic for me. Lovely.
Why do I feel that's more real than moving swiftly and fluidly through the 12 (or however many it is) slave positions of a kajira (is it kajira?)? I don't know really. I just suspect I'd piss myself laughing, or maybe for the right man I wouldn't. I guess the real thing is I'd do pretty much anything for the right person but initially that person has to make contact with me as a normal human being and develop a relationship with me.
Saying hi I'm a Gorean Master isn't ever going to get any response other than laughter and teasing. It's hard too you know, when you live in the real world, have a full time demanding responsible job, you cant live in a fantasy world. Well I can't and I don't want to either.
I love exploring things having fun, being my special one's abject slave for those bedroom moments but I have no desire to flee the real world. I love moving in everyday life, mixing with people from all walks, cultures and countries. I don't want to go and live in a pretend world. I do want sex and beatings though.
Do we simply develop the fantasy to give credence to our non-mainstream desires? To make it something we can compartmentalise more easily? Why is there such a preponderance within the BDSM scene to have this Master slave fantasy land, Gorean or otherwise?
Hugely erotic of course I'm not denying that. Great fun, too so long as you keep it grounded. I suppose ultimately it gives some people the framework to shape their Ds dynamic around. Rules and guidelines for their power exchange.
My preference is for that to come naturally. For the man in my life to show the ability to provide me with leadership, and so I will naturally look to him for guidance. Naturally submit to his decisions, naturally feel that awe and desire for his control. After all if it doesn't come naturally then no amount of protocol, rules or slave positions are going to make it stick.
from: http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/102390/
written by alexandraa
I've been taking to an old friend of late, reminded of when I first came into the BDSM scene going on for five years ago now. I joined a community back then and to some extent it was far more serious and formal than my appreciation of BDSM “etiquette” now. I look back on it and squirm a bit with horror on some of my behaviour. My generic deferral to anyone naming themselves dominant, my awe of the scene and my fear of “serious” lifestylers.
This particular old friend and I used to cause trouble by swearing on the community chat room and having pretend rows with each other. I was frequently reported to Colbeh for punishment. Haha how ludicrous it seems now and yet we did have huge fun too.
In time you come to learn that actually, people are people. Due respect and friendship where it's earned. Dom, sub, switch, female, male, transgender whatever your fetish, sexual choice or persuasion, it makes no matter. We are all equal.
I thought about it a lot last night after being approached by someone from Gor, or so he said. A MASTER of course. Now Gor was a massive fantasy of mine, but hello, when I was about 14. I am now 43. I recognise it for what it is, a set of fantasy books written by a guy who himself isn't even into BDSM, that used to be good to wank to. Why as a developed adult would you want to follow someone else's fantasy world as if it was real?
Then I thought we do follow our own fantasies, we get our thrills as subs from feeling controlled, constrained. As masochists from taking beatings more than we would chose for ourselves. I love hands in my hair, unreasonable demands, strictness, harshness, high expectations, mental and physical demands, bending to someone else's will. It's yummy scrummy. Highly erotic for me. Lovely.
Why do I feel that's more real than moving swiftly and fluidly through the 12 (or however many it is) slave positions of a kajira (is it kajira?)? I don't know really. I just suspect I'd piss myself laughing, or maybe for the right man I wouldn't. I guess the real thing is I'd do pretty much anything for the right person but initially that person has to make contact with me as a normal human being and develop a relationship with me.
Saying hi I'm a Gorean Master isn't ever going to get any response other than laughter and teasing. It's hard too you know, when you live in the real world, have a full time demanding responsible job, you cant live in a fantasy world. Well I can't and I don't want to either.
I love exploring things having fun, being my special one's abject slave for those bedroom moments but I have no desire to flee the real world. I love moving in everyday life, mixing with people from all walks, cultures and countries. I don't want to go and live in a pretend world. I do want sex and beatings though.
Do we simply develop the fantasy to give credence to our non-mainstream desires? To make it something we can compartmentalise more easily? Why is there such a preponderance within the BDSM scene to have this Master slave fantasy land, Gorean or otherwise?
Hugely erotic of course I'm not denying that. Great fun, too so long as you keep it grounded. I suppose ultimately it gives some people the framework to shape their Ds dynamic around. Rules and guidelines for their power exchange.
My preference is for that to come naturally. For the man in my life to show the ability to provide me with leadership, and so I will naturally look to him for guidance. Naturally submit to his decisions, naturally feel that awe and desire for his control. After all if it doesn't come naturally then no amount of protocol, rules or slave positions are going to make it stick.
from: http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/102390/
written by alexandraa